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Tron's LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 | | 11:52 am |
Clairvoyance. Since the night before last, I've found that if I focus on it, I see a pink neon marquee of the words someone is saying before they're saying them. The night before last was a salvia trip. Smoked 10x extract. With a jet-torch lighter. I don't know what the future holds, but I have a funny feeling that whatever is coming is something I want. Whatever changes the salvia induces in me, I know I can handle them, and that they will be amazing. So if one day I start floating a ham sandwich across the room, don't be surprised....hahaha... I lost my pipe last night, and had a dream I found it in the snow...which is probably where it still is...hmmm... Current Mood: Calm. | | Thursday, January 11th, 2007 | | 4:01 pm |
Ever have one of those days where everything feels like a dream?.....good. Timothy Leary's dead. Lost in his own head. I have nothing to write about.... bored...bored. I'm saying this out loud...kinda mumbling as I write it... Life is boring. Got a court date on the 18th...to get a birth certificate. I'm cashing in my immunity..the plan failed anyway. Got caught robbing Nordstrom's a few months back, had my fingerprints taken. All they could do though was let me go. Shoulda been sent to JDH, fined, sent to court. Charged with Theft 2. But now that I have a papertrail, it's not as simple as that. The war is over. Peacetime begins. My warlike ways are fading more rapidly than Peewee Herman's career, and it's grand. I don't have a lot of opportunities to listen to music yet, but it'll change in time and with a bit of intention. Lucid dreaming is becoming more fascinating to me than ever before. I had a dream last night that I was standing on one side of a river, looking over at the other side where I knew a Star Trek convention was going on. It was at this moment that I realized there was no way I could be here, doing this..."I'm dreaming!", the words echoed in my mind carrying a certain alluring ring to them. I realized I desperately wanted to go and check out this convention and find out what was going on over there. So, based on the idea that it was all a dream I crouched down, and leapt into the air, about 300 feet up it must've been, and landed on the other side. That was a blast, and I leapt again. 50 feet. And again! It was incredibly fun, all this superman-esque leaping...and one of the most amazing feelings that I could be doing any of this. After a while, I became distracted by it and I think I forgot that I was dreaming, and proceeded to the Star Trek convention. It was massive, and the more I focused on things the clearer and more interesting it all became. I remember walking into a tent and being in a strange hotel/apartment building somewhere. I wandered around a while, made a lot of people mad, and found an incredibly beautiful naked woman relaxing in a bubble bath. I saw her for just a second before exiting through a tentflap somewhere and arriving back outside at the convention. When I came back out, I was holding this foaming flower that was made of microscopic bubbles...pink...the same colour as the ones in the bath from before. Thinking it would be a clever comedic gesture, I presented it to the first person I saw: a middle-aged woman with long hair and average complexion. She smiled a bit, and mouthed something to me. Suddenly I noticed that there was a group of construction workers standing not too far away. A steam-whistle signalled the end of their shift I guess, and the foreman screamed "WAKE UP!", and I was left staring at the back of my eyelids. | | Thursday, November 2nd, 2006 | | 6:50 pm |
Depression sets in. At least I'm not mad about it. just...depressed. Whatever, alive is still a great place to be. Current Mood: Depressed | | Sunday, October 15th, 2006 | | 1:54 pm |
Uhmm....so I'm starting to write a book. Yeah. I can taste the jealousy in your tone of voice. Anyway, I just got out of the ER a week ago. Killer virus got into my system, first time I've been sick in years. Totally wiped me out for like...two and a half weeks, and I'm just now getting over it (thanks to Anti-biotics). I never realized how long two days is when all you have to do is sit in an ER room. Sit. Sit. Sit. You don't get anything to read. Noone tells you anything, not even what's wrong with you. And for those two days, that's 48 hours (though I slept for most of it, which still leaves about 16 hours), I did nothing but think. Because I had nothing else to do. So I thought about a lot of things; mice, God, my name, books, people, life, lies, truth, jumping jacks, card games, my mother, and drinking straws. It sobered me I think. Made me realize that I never wanted to end up in that situation again. Made me realize how much I miss my parents home, and how much hope I still have left for my future. And it's a lot. Most people are very shallow, I realized that while in the ER. And I can't help but hate and disassociate myself from them for it. I broke a lot of friends, and made several more when I got out. I realize now how blind I really was, when I thought I was an adult. And I noticed I'm still learning. Then again, all people are. And I'm still thinking. I think television is really boring. I think marijuana is great, in moderation. I think God is you. You are God. All you need to do is close your eyes. I think most people are very ignorant and even more of them are very shallow. I think love is real, and that it's out there, waiting for me to find it. I think mice are awesome. I think life is a great thing. I think menthol cigarettes are dandily cancerous. I think The Beatles are the four greatest people I have ever known to exist. I think Jesus is just alright. I think I'm going to change my name to Moses, and go by Mo. I think brownies are fucking awesome. I think I want to fly to Moscow and live there for a bit. I think I want to fall in love. I think organized religion is the biggest joke in the history of the world. I think my volunteering at the Oregon Humane Society four days a week, 5 hours a day isn't that big a deal to people, but makes a lot of difference in the lives of the animals I care for. I think Cherry Garcia is the best ice cream ever. I think skate shoes are pretty comfy. I think cassette tapes are most awesome. I think Uganda sounds like a delicious candy. I think I don't care what you think. I think for myself. I think freely. I think I'll go do something more interesting now. Current Mood: Happily contented | | 1:50 pm |
Current table of contents ___________________________________ Through An Hourglass (title) ___________________________________ Zero: Introduction Part 1: Cabalistics I: My Father’s Doppelganger II: Phantoms III: Psychics IV: Empaths V: Psychokinetics VI: Time VII: Vampires VIII: Zombies IV: Witchcraft V: Inorganic Beings Part 2: Drugs I: Marijuana II: Lysergic Acid Diethylamide III: Mushrooms IV: Salvia Divinorum V: Peyote VI: Mescaline VII: Morning Glory VIII: Datura Stramonium VIII: Garbage Part 3: Philosophy I: Life II: The Universe III: People IV: The Mind V: Reality VI: God & Religion VII: The Rest | | 1:45 pm |
Introduction
Introduction Over the course of several years I have been introduced, immersed, and astounded by the things which have been placed in front of me. I have been to the far side of galaxies no man has ever witnessed in dimensions I doubt anyone can imagine. I have been confused with logic, conversed with inorganic beings, tasted shapes, and heard colours. I have listened to the fine sounds of a mechanical reality meant just for me. I think at one point or another, we all have. Most of us just fail to realize it. In writing all of this I hope to achieve something I’ve been meaning to do for a very long time. It spans my entire life, starting from early childhood, and will most likely carry on throughout the rest of it, parts of it I’m sure I don’t know I’ll be writing. Truth seems to be a dangerous subject when posed to those who live a life of comfortable fantasy. I hope to educate, inspire, and show to someone else that there is still much wonder and mystery left. That everything and everyone you know could be shattered by the sound of a pin-drop…even if they probably won’t. That things are not what they seem, and we are very ignorant to much of what happens in the Universe. I hope to plant a small seed of magic in the eyes of a child. Of course, being that I am the author, this work is bound to be tainted by my own ideas and opinions. But such things are inevitable, I suppose. On the topic of drugs, I am not writing this to promote or deject them. My only interest lies in introducing and preserving the truth, as well as relating tales of magnificent happenings that may or may not interest you, the reader. I am not going to attempt to sway you into taking a psychedelic trip or growing magical fungus. I just want to give you the truth, and if you decide that you enjoy expanding your mind as much as I do, then I wouldn’t be objected. In conclusion to the introduction of what should be an interesting ride, I’d just like to thank you for being minutely interested in reading this. With luck, one day it will become published and sold in a bookstore near you. Who knows…so let’s find out. The truth is out there. Current Mood: Content | | Saturday, September 30th, 2006 | | 3:24 pm |
After a lot of soul searching, I have a hickey, sold two of my more valuable SNES games, smoked a lot of weed, and determined that I am really fucking awesome. I don't take Prozac anymore, and I'm content with just sitting. | | Monday, September 25th, 2006 | | 4:39 am |
Just now I was outside, smoking...a cigarette...I know, I know...but anyway, I was smoking, when what I thought to be a firefly was hovering and buzzing around a streetlight. It went around the back and over the top a few times, making weird looping patterns. It didn't occur to me that the firefly was disproportioned. It looked like a floating ball of yellow/orage light that was as sharp as a lazer pointer in the center and then halo'd out into nothingness. Now, as I'm watching this thing, entranced and amazed at it, it dips behind the head of the streetlamp, and the shadow of what looked like a huge crow appeared in the brick of this building. Such a precise and perfect shadow, too, it was refracted around the corner of the building at the appropriate times and soared around the building several times. This scared me a bit, for some reason, and I looked desperately to find the bird who's shadow this belonged to..and it wasn't there. Normally when I hallucinate, I can tell. The images don't fit with the real world, they're more like papercutouts placed over a photograph, you know? They don't have the right proportions to this world. They don't go around things, behind things, and such because our human mind thinks primarily in images. ANd since images are 2-D, and not 3-D, the human mind is incapable of creating such a complex and realistic thing on account of it having no sense of what "behind" or "above" or "in front" are. And that's when fear set in. Hard, cold fear. I felt sick to my stomach, and a feeling of being thirsty and hungry and fearful overcame me. I wondered if these things were longing for what we had in this world, consumed by their own pains... I don't know. And that's what scares me most. It was outside me, it wasn't directed toward me. But it was eerie that they (these entities) isolated me in such a way so that I was their only witness. That that point, just outside my house, was the point of least resistance for them to get into. And I just happened to be there to watch them. I'm sensitive to paranormal stuff like this; energy, ghosts, and such. I don't believe in the dualities of western culture (the good, evil, the heavan and the hell). So I don't think they were "bad" energy, just the wrong energy. The orb was so childlike, and the crow shadow so knowing...that it scares me to say that I don't know what they are. Normally I can tell, if it's a ghost or whatever, because usually these things are human or relate to humans in some way. But these didn't. Even though the crow was recognizable, there was nothing familiar about it. I don't like the thought of interdimensional beings ripping holes in space and coming into this world right outside my house...but I don't even know if that's what it is for sure, but that's all I can think of.. Fear is the first human reaction to something we are utterly unfamiliar with. Fire scared the first caveman to death, you know? I'm an openminded and curious lad who is interested in everything I don't already know. Because I have the assurance that I will know, eventually. But this...was different than a ghost or a hand coming out of the wall. I've seen those things, and this was nothing like them. This was utterly frightening. Frightening. Because my only answer is "I don't know." | | Wednesday, September 20th, 2006 | | 6:56 pm |
This is your brain:  And this is your brain on drugs:  Any questions? Current Mood: Content | | 7:44 am |
Dear Journal
Dear Journal, My name is Xebelbar Huratio Umbrejuvacoxalanistanicronistabullotimas cranium. Tonight is the night that I finally break out of this human body that confines me. I will peel back the cranium and emerge in my true form, a violet tulip In my true form, I will be able to photosynthesize and therefor can cease to crave deep-fried plutonium and frozen milk cubes. Thank you for your undying support during these difficult times. I will leave my boy-body shell to the staff for New Avenues For Youth so they can get that new anotomy class started. Love, Xelbebar Huratio Umbrejuvacoxalanistanicronistabullotimas cranium. Current Mood: Excited? | | Tuesday, September 19th, 2006 | | 11:29 pm |
I was on the bus today, and I had the kind of revelation I normally only have when I'm stoned. I was thinking about how we're monkeys. We build machines to cart each other around in and trade each other green slips of paper for it the likes of which we spend on food other monkeys have put in convenient little brick enclosures for us to trade THEM for little green paper so they can do the same thing, and a little more. It's a bit more complicated than that, but just as stupid. And, yes, I'm stoned right now. Current Mood: Stoned | | Thursday, September 14th, 2006 | | 8:08 pm |
I say, I've quit smoking...cigarettes, that is. Cannabis is the only way for Tron. I'm going to College. I've decided on a major, Creative writing. My minor is Philosophy. I'd like to write scripts for films as a profession. It would make me very happy to graduate with my BA, and get a contract deal with Paramount or sommat. In the meantime, I've got enough to keep me content. Getting deeper into the world of the paranormal, still practicing Mexican sorcery. I'm still volunteering at the Humane Society, taking care of dogs. I'm going to go to College, I've a lover, and I've got The Beatles. I'm hopeful again, I found the direction I was seeking for so long. I feel...hopeful. Happy. Current Mood: Hopeful | | Tuesday, September 12th, 2006 | | 5:57 pm |
Oh, man...so there was this event this past weekend...started on Saturday, ended Sunday afternoon. The name of that event was "Hempstalk", but we called it Hempfest, cause Hempstalk is a lame name. The overall point of the event was to educate, rally, and end cannabis prohibition..... But all I got out of it was a groovy party and celebration of the herb. There was a lot of live music (Rasta, rap, & blues), a lot of awesome people, and a lot of free marijuana. Of course there were also the pricks, the squares, and the morons. But mostly it was cool. There was a Rasta guy there with mad dreads, who was doing awesomely crazy Rastafarian tunes. Halfway through he stopped, looked around at the crowd and shouted "Hey, now, smoke your weed, cause you know it goes well wit de musik!", and someone held up a blunt to the stage, he took a monster hit, and kept on singing. Someone else threw a bud onstage too, and he pocketed it. We got smoked out by five different people, had well over a gram we brought with us, and rolled a fat joint. After HempFest was over, we were sad, but look forward to next year. Oh, and I got to meet Mr. Statue ( http://mrstatue.org/), the single coolest street performer in Portland. Period. HEMPSTOCK WAS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!! | | Friday, September 8th, 2006 | | 1:14 pm |
Still taking Prozac...and I feel it might be working. I can concentrate now, be more hilariously paranoid, AND I get to be stoned 24/7. BRILLIANT! In other news, Saddam Husawhatshisname has no ties to Al-Quiada. Go figure, eh? I think the lesson learned here has something to do with the tail wagging the dog. But anyone with half a flash of brilliance already knew that. ..... .............  NOONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Current Mood: Anti-depressed | | Thursday, September 7th, 2006 | | 5:55 pm |
Wow man...these Prozac are...wow. THey said it might take a few weeks to start feeling the full effects of it, but I feelin' pretty fly right now. Thanks to my ally, Salvia, and all the other crazy drugs I've taken it's like being mildly stoned. Fucking awesome | | 1:11 pm |
Hey, dig it: they prescribed me Prozac...I'm officially being anti-depressed. Brilliant. | | Tuesday, September 5th, 2006 | | 12:51 pm |
Lezze...anybody not wearing Converse? Any girls out there not died their hair red? No? Ok. | | Monday, September 4th, 2006 | | 1:15 pm |
I have nothing to say of my own life today, so I'll just give you some lyrics. Gawd, I drink too much milk.... DEVO - Patterns patterns all around you patterns everywhere patterns of behavior sometimes seem unfair can you recognize the patterns that you find? patterns unfamiliar patterns lead you through (to) patterns of discovery tracing out the clues can you recognize the patterns that you find? stuck in your mind in this land where stability is hard to find you can rearrange the patterns so unkind don't bother asking why a pattern never cries old patterns never die they just go on and on patterns multiplying re-direct our view endless variations make it all seem new Current Mood: Plaid | | Thursday, August 31st, 2006 | | 2:00 pm |
Oh, wait. It't not all bad. I've got Black Sabbath, a pipe, and several fistfulls of volunteerwork at the humane society. Started working there on Wednesday. It's fly. | | 12:40 pm |
Coming to grips with chronic depression, dyscalculia ( http://www.dyscalculia.org/) and a dysfunctional family isn't shaping up too well. I've begun the destructive practice of smoking cigarette tobacco from a pipe. More economic, at least.... Dyscalculia is math dyslexia. i cant add simple numbers quickly, or do division at all. I can't remember yesterday, or most of my life. I forget most people's names quickly, and can't recall things easily. Things like looking at a clock and telling someone what time it is. Ha...it's funny because it's true. |
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